The Bonds We Break (The Four #5) Read online

  When we arrived back at my house after a silent journey, she finally spoke as we unloaded her stuff from her Mercedes.

  “I hope I wasn’t dragging you away from anything important tonight.”

  I shot her a smirk, closing her car boot and picking up her case. “Nah. I could’ve had a girl…two girls, in fact, but I got their numbers, so it’s all good. I can pick up where we left off later.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t worry, my little cockblocker. I sacrificed my pleasure for the greater good.”

  An amused, or possibly disgusted, noise came from her throat, and that haunted look lessened. “I was feeling bad about it until you just said that.”

  Laughing with a weird sense of relief, I opened the front door and directed her inside. “If you’re feeling bad, you can always take their place.”

  “I’m not feeling that bad, but I’ll keep it in mind,” she said dryly as she followed me up the stairs. We ended up on the upstairs landing, and I pointed out the bedrooms. I was pretty sure she knew where mine and Caiden’s were, at the very least, but it had been a long time since she’d been in this part of the house.

  I hadn’t been home since I’d made my suggestion that she could stay, so I was prepared for the guest room to be a mess. But when I opened the door, it was actually clear, even though it had been a bit of a junk room before. Come to think of it, Winter had mentioned something about clearing out the spare rooms when Lena was due to move in, so I guess I had her to thank.

  “You can sleep here. There’s a lock on the door, and you get a bathroom. Towels are in there.” That was a guess, but if the room was ready to sleep in, I was assuming the bathroom would be stocked.

  “Okay. Thanks.” She dropped her bags to the floor and walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge. Her eyes met mine, her gaze cautious. “Do the others know I’m staying?”

  “Not yet, but I’ll tell them.” They’d probably have something to say about it, but my plan was to hide Jessa up in the guest room and get everyone to do shots, then spring the news on them when they were drunk.

  One raised brow was the only reaction I got. “I’ll try and get some rest,” she said softly, and I took the hint.

  “See you tomorrow.” I left her to it and headed downstairs to see who was around. West was still out, and so was Lena, but Cade and Z were in the lounge on our new PS5, while Winter was curled up reading.

  “Shots, anyone?”

  Winter glanced up from her Kindle and pointed towards the full mugs on the coffee table. “I just made drinks. Do you want me to make you one?”

  “No, thanks. I’ll get my own.” Guess that plan wasn’t going to work. Maybe it was better to just come out and tell them. Wandering into the kitchen, I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap, staring unseeingly at the window.

  “Hi.”

  A reflection appeared in the window next to me, and I jumped a fucking mile, accompanied by the sound of breaking glass as it slipped out of my hand and dropped into the sink.

  “Fuck!”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. I just came down for a glass of water.” Jessa was staring at me, and even though I was only looking at her reflection, I could see she was struggling not to laugh, biting down on her lip.

  Glaring at her reflection, I reached into the sink with both hands to scoop up the broken glass.

  I should’ve fucking looked.

  Both of my thumbs somehow managed to jab into the jagged broken edges.

  “Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!”

  At my shout of pain, there was a stampede as Caiden, Zayde, and Winter all came bursting into the room. Nice to know they cared, I guess.

  “What’s Jessa doing here?”

  I panicked at Cade’s dangerously low tone and spun around to face them, brandishing my injured hands. “My thumbs! Look at my thumbs!”

  Everyone’s focus swung to me, and then they all started speaking at once, apart from Jessa, who looked like she was losing the battle to hide her laughter.

  “Stop dripping blood all over the floor. It’s unhygienic.”

  “It’s only a scratch.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Shooting an amused Jessa a death glare, I turned my attention to Winter, who was the only one showing any kind of sympathy. “It hurts.”

  She shook her head. “You’re so dramatic sometimes.”

  Maybe not as sympathetic as I’d originally thought. I wasn’t even lying—the cuts fucking stung.

  She stepped a bit closer, her genuine concern for me overriding everything else. Lifting my hands, she examined my thumbs, biting her lip before a thoughtful expression came over her face. “The cuts aren’t deep, but we should get them cleaned up. Jessa?” She turned to Jessa. All traces of amusement were instantly wiped from her face, and she eyed Winter with caution. Winter glanced over at me, then back to Jessa. “In the upstairs main bathroom, there’s a first aid kit on the top shelf of the tall white cabinet. Please could you get it?”

  Jessa nodded once, practically flying out of the room. As soon as she was gone, Caiden spoke up again. “Explain.”

  Winter directed my hands under the tap, cleaning the cuts with lukewarm water. I thought about ignoring my nosy friends, but I couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Jessa’s staying over,” I said finally, aware of three sets of eyes on me. “More Littlefinger shit. It seems like we have more to worry about than we thought.” I gave them a rundown of the situation, and by the end of it, everyone looked even more unhappy.

  “I don’t like anything about this.” Caiden paced up and down, doing his best impression of a thundercloud. He did a dramatic spin on his heel, whirling round to me, and I barely contained my eye roll at his theatrics. “I don’t like her being here.”

  “You think any of us do?” I snapped, losing my patience.

  Winter cleared her throat loudly, widening her eyes at me, and I winced, turning my head to see Jessa standing in the doorway, clasping the first aid kit with a stricken look on her face.

  Shit.

  She took a visibly deep breath, straightening her shoulders, then headed into the now completely silent kitchen and handed Winter the first aid kit. Her green eyes met mine, so wide and so fucking sad that something inside me twisted painfully. “I know none of you want me here. I…I’ll make sure I stay out of everyone’s way. You won’t even know I’m here.” Her voice wobbled as her whispered words fell from her in a rush.

  She was gone before I could explain that I’d been replying to the first part of Caiden’s comment. Not the part about her.

  Caiden at least had the good grace to look ashamed. “Fuck,” he muttered. His eyes met Zayde’s, and they had a whole silent conversation while Winter taped up my thumbs in silence, using way more of the stretchy bandage stuff than was necessary.

  Z disappeared from the kitchen, and Cade sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. “It’s getting late. Let’s talk about it tomorrow, yeah?”

  Winter nodded as she examined my thumbs. Satisfied with her work, she released my hands, then leaned up to press a soft kiss to my cheek.

  When they’d both left the room, I stayed where I was for a while, my head spinning, before I decided I might as well go upstairs. My thumbs were throbbing, and I needed painkillers. I glared at them. Couldn’t even have a fucking wank with them all bandaged up like this.

  On the landing, I stopped outside the guest bedroom where Jessa was staying. I lifted my hand to knock but paused when I heard a noise. Pressing my ear to the door, I heard the unmistakable sound of muffled crying coming from inside the room.

  There was nothing I could do or say that would make the situation any better. If anything, I’d make it worse.

  Lowering my hand, I stepped away.

  Her soft cries still echoed in my ears when I closed my bedroom door.

  SIX

  The noises of showers running, people shouting to each other, and slamming doors final
ly stopped. I waited another ten minutes just to be sure before making my way out of bed. After a quick shower, I threw on another pair of jogging bottoms and a loose navy T-shirt. The T-shirt slipped off my shoulders, and I examined myself in the mirror. I’d lost weight. Too much. But I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  My stomach growled, and I knew I should eat. I ignored that, too, until it growled again. Winding my damp hair into a ponytail, I grabbed my car keys and handbag. There was no way I was eating here, not when everyone had made it clear how unwelcome I was.

  As I headed down the hallway, a crash and the sound of Cassius swearing sounded from somewhere in his room. Without even thinking it through, I stepped up to his door and knocked.

  The door swung open, and I was confronted by Cassius wearing nothing but a pair of tight black boxers. My mouth went dry, and I snapped my eyes up to his face, keeping them there with an effort. He frowned down at me, frustration in his gaze, his nostrils flared. “Are you okay?” I ventured.

  “No,” he said shortly, stepping back and to the side, swinging the door open. I took that as an invitation to enter his room.

  “What’s the matter?” Leaning against the wall, I glanced around his room. Anything to avoid my gaze straying towards his gorgeous body, so close to me. My eyes barely took in the décor of soft greys and the monstrously oversized bed that dominated the centre of the space before they returned to him. The corners of his lip curved up in amusement, the frustration melting away.

  “Take a good look.” He spread out his arms. “It’s—”

  “No.” I held up my hand, biting my lip to contain my smile. “Just stop. Tell me what the problem is, and we can discuss your huge ego another time.”

  “And my huge—”

  Lunging forwards, I slammed my hand over his mouth, feeling him laugh under my palm. His fingers came up to curl around my hand, prying it away from his face. “Okay, okay.” He shoved his thumbs in front of my face. “This. I need to shave.”

  Last night in the kitchen…another wave of hurt swamped me, making me catch my breath. I’d almost forgotten about what had happened, what he’d said, too distracted by his presence, but now, everything came flooding back to me. “It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t invited me to stay when I clearly wasn’t welcome.”

  Guilt flared in his eyes, and he lowered his hand. “I didn’t mean it like that. You misheard me.”

  “I know what I heard, Cass.” Slumping back against the wall, I sighed. “And I get it. I don’t hold it against you, honestly.” I’d been awake most of the night, thinking about it, and it was obvious I couldn’t stay here much longer, not when it was clear that no one wanted me here. My apartment didn’t feel safe, so my plan was to search for a hotel or Airbnb later. It wasn’t like I couldn’t afford it. I shouldn’t have allowed Cassius to talk me into staying in the first place, but I’d been so shaken by the photo that I hadn’t been thinking straight.

  A low growl came from his throat, and I stared at him, surprised, as his eyes narrowed. “You. Mis. Heard. Me.”

  “Whatever. Can we not talk about it now, please?” Grasping for anything to change the subject, I pushed off the wall. “Do you want me to help you with shaving?”

  “What?”

  “I can help. I had to help my brother out when he broke his arm.”

  He stared at me for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Okay. Thank—” His phone sounded loudly, cutting him off, and I took the opportunity to admire his ass flexing as he walked over to his dresser.

  “Fucking wanker,” he muttered, frowning at his screen.

  “What?”

  Turning, he held up his phone, and I stepped closer to view the screen. I had to bite my lip hard to contain my smile. It was a message from Weston with a photo captioned “thumbs up!” The image was of him and Lena, sticking both of their thumbs up. As I stared at it, another message came through beneath the photo. It said, “Shame you can’t do this without looking like a twat.”

  Cassius growled under his breath, stabbing at his phone and replying with a string of middle finger emojis. “Don’t start,” he warned when I couldn’t contain my smile any longer, but before he turned away, I caught his own smile tugging at his lips.

  Throwing his phone onto the bed, he turned and headed into his en suite, and I placed my keys and handbag down, then followed him in. The bathroom was in disarray—a can of shaving foam lying on its side in the sink, foam bubbling out of it, the tap left running. A towel was thrown across the floor, and water splashes decorated the tiles. Cassius glanced around the room, subtly winced, then gave me an innocent look, widening his eyes. “What?”

  “I didn’t say anything.” A reluctant smile found its way onto my face again. What was it about Cassius that made me feel lighter after I’d been feeling hopeless for so long?

  Now wasn’t the time to think about it.

  I directed him to sit on the side of the bath while I rinsed the foam out of the sink, then filled the basin with warm water. He tracked my movements with interest, his gaze boring into me, and I shot him a small smile as I turned back from the sink and carefully dampened his skin before applying shaving foam to his jaw.

  When I returned with the razor, he’d widened his legs. I paused and then realised that it made sense for me to stand as close to him as possible, so I stepped between them. From this position, I could see the ring of darker blue that ran around his irises. His thick brown lashes were lowered, his gaze on my mouth.

  “I didn’t mean it about you,” he said softly. He raised his head, his eyes meeting mine, and I could see the truth in them. Giving him a nod of assent, I lightly gripped the back of his head, his hair soft beneath my hand.

  “Ready?”

  He remained silent, so I took that as my cue to begin. I uncapped the razor and began to drag it across his skin, slowly and carefully. The room fell silent, and every tiny sound seemed magnified. The scrape of the razor over stubble, Cassius’ breaths close to me, my own breaths, faster than they’d normally be, no matter how unaffected I told myself I was.

  Cassius shifted slightly when I lifted the razor away from his skin to check my handiwork, his legs closing, trapping me between his muscular thighs. An involuntary shiver went through my body, and I swallowed, needing moisture for my suddenly dry throat.

  “Okay?” he murmured, and I wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking me, but I nodded. His hands came up to rest lightly on my hips. “Just steadying you.” A familiar grin appeared on his face, but when my eyes met his, there was something else there. Something I wasn’t sure I was reading correctly. Either that, or my imagination was running away with me.

  Turning my attention back to my task, I decided I was imagining things. Until one of the hands resting on my hip slid upwards, under the hem of my T-shirt, and then his fingers were resting on my bare skin.

  Every single inch of me zeroed in on that one tiny patch of skin, my nerve endings alight with sensation as his index finger moved almost imperceptibly, stroking up and down. It was too much but not enough. The desire that I thought had died that night at the docks raced through my veins, shocking me with its intensity. My nipples hardened, visible beneath the fabric of my top, and goosebumps popped out along my arms.

  What the fuck? Cassius was barely touching me.

  With effort, I kept my hand steady, finishing up my task as quickly as possible. Of course it didn’t mean anything. This was Cassius. He probably wasn’t even aware of what he was doing, the movements instinctual to him.

  “I think I’m done.” Thankfully, my voice didn’t betray me, sounding more or less normal. “I just need to rinse off the razor.”

  He remained silent, not even looking at me.

  When I stepped back, his hands dropped to his thighs, and he cleared his throat. As I turned away, he shifted slightly, and my eyes flashed downwards.

  A tiny gasp escaped me, and I immediately slammed my mouth shut.

  He was hard.

  N
ot fully hard, but hard enough that it was noticeable. And how strange was it that I was intimately acquainted with the size of Cassius’ dick that I instantly knew that information?

  My cheeks grew hot, and I stared down at the sink while I dampened a cloth. Overriding everything else I was feeling, though, was that same fizzing excitement I’d had around him before.

  I wasn’t broken. I could feel again.

  Stepping back over to him, careful to avoid his gaze, I cleaned the rest of the shaving foam from his face. His skin was warm and smooth beneath my fingers, and I could feel the flex of his jaw as I slid the cloth over his face.

  I took an unsteady breath. “Okay. I’m finished. I’m…I’m going to go now.”

  “Go where?” His voice came out lower than usual.

  “Out. Uh, breakfast. And I’m going to look for a hotel to stay in.”

  “No.” He gripped my arm, his eyes darkening. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying here.”

  “Why does it matter to you where I stay? We’re not exactly friends, Cass.”

  “Yes, we are.” When I raised a brow, he added, “Maybe not close friends, but we are friends.”

  “Even so. Why is it important to you?” I asked quietly, my curiosity getting the better of me.

  He was silent for a while, his brow creased in thought. “I feel responsible for you.”

  My stomach twisted. “I’m not your charity case. And I already have one big brother, I don’t need another.”

  “We’re the same age. And…” A glint came into his eye. His grip on my arm loosened, his hand moving lower until he was covering my hand. He slid his fingers between mine, then he tugged my arm forwards suddenly, pressing my hand over the bulge in his boxers.

  With a screech, I yanked my hand away, stumbling backwards and hitting the sink. Helpless laughter overtook him, his shoulders shaking, and I gave him a savage glare.

  “What the fuck, Cass?”

  When he finally managed to control his laughter, he straightened up, meeting my gaze. “Just showing you that our relationship isn’t sibling-y.” A far too innocent smile appeared on his face.